Is it possible to stay friends with a former lover? Read on to find the answer


Supreeta Singh

This person knows all your secrets. You are comfortable together. You have shared almost everything. Unfortunately, things didn’t turn out as you expected. Once, you two were lovers. Now, your relationship is a matter of the past. But does that mean everything is over? Just because you are not lovers anymore, is the friendship that existed between you no longer important? Whether you had a tough breakup or a mutual separation, an ex-lover can become a great buddy once the initial discomfort settles down. Or perhaps not?

Priyanka Chakrabarti
| student: YES If you had a nasty break up, it becomes difficult to be friends with your ex. But as both move-on in life, I think it is possible that your ex might become your best friend because both of you know each other well. I have seen that a lot of times the best advice comes from your ex. So, try being a little more forgiving towards each other and forget all your differences. It will work wonders!

Soumya Rao | student: YES I believe that one can be friends with one’s ex, but the process is not an easy one, and will take a great deal of time and maturity on the part of both of them to settle the matter. First and foremost, you need time to be able to let go of the relationship and truly get over the person. You also have to be willing to realise that as friends, you will not have the same degree of influence or insight into the other person’s life. Most of all, if as a girlfriend /boyfriend you were used to a great deal of importance in the person’s life, you will have to have the maturity to accept that you will no longer have the same and should also be able to see your ex move on.

Riya Gupta | student: NO I don’t think it’s a good idea being friends with your ex. They are like those dark experiences that we wish to forget and if we want to move on in life, we have to erase them completely from our memory. Friendship with them will only invite a troubled state of mind. So I believe it’s not a great idea to be friends with one’s ex.

Debapriya Goswami | marketing professional: NO It’s not at all possible to be friends with your ex. This is not a real friendship. This kind of “friendship” isn’t good and will just make everyone feel awkward and uncomfortable. The worst possible situation to be in when you are friends after a break up is to still hold a grudge against each other but to be passive and aggressive about it. 

Sarvesha Karnani | public
relations professional: YES You can be friends if you give it a gap of a few years after your break up and then see each other again. It gives you adequate time to move on with your life. But immediately after the break up? I think it’s too soon to swap an intense relationship for a mere friendship. You need a transitional phase especially when deep emotions are involved!!
Souradeep Raul Dutta
| singer/songwriter: YES Cconsidering you were in a relationship you would probably know this person really well and vice versa. So I think it’s possible to take your ex as your friend. Moreover, I would consider it a precious relationship since nowadays everyone can be anonymous, thanks to social networking sites. As far as residual emotions are concerned, that depends on the realtionship and the people concerned. There can’t be a general answer to that.

Anupam More | businessman:
YES I think it is possible to be friends with your former girlfriend. Every relationship has both good and bad moments. If for any reason it doesn’t work out between two people, there’s no reason to be bitter about it. One should be realistic about life and try to accept it in a more graceful manner rather than ending it in a fight. Life is too short to bear grudges. One should remember the good times and move on with life.

Indroneel Mukherjee | fashion designer and stylist: NO To get over an ex-lover, the first step is to completely cut off all ties or else you can really never get over. There is too much familiarity between the two people and you end up making up again and again. So if it’s over, make sure it’s really over! I tell my friends all the time, to get over a man get under another man! And that can’t happen if your ex, even as a friend is around.